Saturday, July 13, 2013

Right-Winger and Liberal On Shipwrecked Island


"Okay.  Just to clarify.  We've got a republic here on the island.  Everybody's got free speech."

"Wait a second.  We can build our own community.  We can do whatever we want.  We are free to blaze our own path.  This is our island."

"Okay.  So.  To clarify.  We got a republic, and everybody's got free speech."

"We don't have a government here.  We're deciding what our government is going to be.  We can have whatever government we want."

"Sure.  Absolutely.  As long as, you know, it's a republic.  With free speech."

"Okay, well, why don't you go over by yourself for a while, so the rest of us can discuss it."

"I think I'll stay right here.  Thanks."

"You know, this is ridiculous.  We should just put all our possessions into a pile--"

"Before we--"

"--and split--"

"--determine the, uh, tax and spend policies, on the island, we should clarify what kind of government we have.  Cause it sounds like you just declared Communism without asking anybody."

"I'm not a Communist, you dumb hillbilly."

"Uh-huh.  Uh-huh."

"Look.  We got a limited amount of shit on the island, and we got to share."

"Well, this is my coconut."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means it's my coconut, is what it means."

"Am I in Bizarro world?  Where am I?  Nobody wants your coconut."

"I think we should vote on what we're going to do.  As long as we all understand, we got a republic.  With free speech.  And--"

"Wait!  Who put you in charge?"

"--to be convicted of a crime--

"Who put you in charge!"

"--it has to be a unanimous vote of twelve people."

"We don't even have twelve people on the island, you moron.  Eleven!  We got eleven people!"

"Yeah, that's fine, we're gonna start having babies anyway."

"You can't have babies.  Don't be retarded.  We got a limited supply of food."

"Oh we're having some babies."

"Who the hell are you going to have a baby with?"

"I don't know.  I haven't, uh, nice to meet you, ma'am.  I mean, uh, shit.  All right.  I'm gonna go build a shelter.  And a fire.  And catch a fish.  For me.  And if any of the ladies, would like some fish for supper.  That would be nice."

"You can't just go off and fish by yourself!"

"And screw the government."

5 comments:

edutcher said...

Oh, boy, is that ever the truth.

El Pollo Raylan said...

I gotta ask after reading this: did you used to troll your own comments over on Althouse to provide point/counterpoint debate? :)

El Pollo Raylan said...

Oh and, one helpful suggestion: lose the logon anti-robot feature until you actually get spam.

Althouse used to have a fun one that actually coined new words and seemed to have read threads. That one is just soulless.

Saint Croix said...

I gotta ask after reading this: did you used to troll your own comments over on Althouse to provide point/counterpoint debate? :)

I did not!

Saint Croix said...

Oh and, one helpful suggestion: lose the logon anti-robot feature until you actually get spam.

I would love to lose the w.v. Apparently blogger has other ideas!