Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Card Players

Sold for $250 million dollarsYikes!

Libertarian Revolt in the House

Justin Amash's attempt to defund the NSA spying program was truly amazingObama was against it.  Boehner was against it.  Pelosi was against it.  All the leaders--all the rulers--were against it.  They like their power and they want more, more, more! 

And yet there was a revolt nonetheless.  People who are sick of these violations of our Constitution voted their conscience.  The entire delegation of South Carolina voted against the NSA secret court.  They read the Constitution out loud!  And followed it!  

93 Republicans went against the House leadership.  They will no doubt be punished for that.  And they did it anyway!  

And 111 Democrats went against Obama and Pelosi.  These are our heroes and we should cheer them.   

Secret Laws

I heard Justin Amash on NPR yesterday.  He was on fire!  Also on NPR, in the role of Darth Vader, was the general counsel for the NSA, Stewart Baker, who said they were not going to share any of their FISA court rulings with Congress because Congress cannot be trusted.  And Justin Amash was so pissed.  As he should be!  "You can't have secret law!"  And Stewart Baker said it was just an interpretation of law.  They weren't writing laws.  

Imagine the Supreme Court writing Roe v. Wade in secret!  And even Congress is not allowed to read it!  Because Congress cannot be trusted.

The FISA court is a secret court, writing secret laws, rubber-stamping what our secret police state wants to do.  It's utterly un-American, I think, as there is no opposition to the government allowed in court.  And it's all done in secret!  

And then the Darth Vader of the FISA says that It's a shame about all these Obama scandals, because it's confused Republicans into thinking there is an NSA scandal, too.  He scoffs at the idea there is an NSA scandal.  What could be scandalous about building a Stasi spy apparatus in the USA?


What I Got

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Blue and Grey


Mark Rothko

Princess Nudist

Apparently the UK is ready to declare war on the French for publishing topless photographs of Kate Middleton.  And this is old nudie news, but it's back in the news because the French photographer, Valerie Suau, faces a year in prison

And get this bit of anti-French bigotry:

Ms Suau, whose name is pronounced 'sewer', has kept a low profile...

Monsieur!  The English dogs are putting your women in jail for reporting the truth!  And what do you say to this outrage?!

Flight Attendant Kung Fu Master

Flying in China is so hellish, so bad (the planes are delayed for hours and hours) that flight attendants are now learning kung fu to deal with the unruly passengers. 

Kung fu!

I want to see that movie!

Is Eric Snowden a Hero or a Traitor?

Pick one.

Monday, July 29, 2013

I Love Rand Paul

He pisses off all the right people.

The Cat Is Back!

One of my favorite Hitchcock films, To Catch a Thief, was filmed in a hotel in Cannes.  Yesterday that hotel was robbed by a cat burglar who stole $136 million in jewels.   

World Peace and Other Fourth Grade Achievements

I heard an amazing story on NPR today, about a 4th grade teacher and his political science class.  He's invented a world peace game, and his kids play it.  He creates various problems (racial, economic, environmental) and all the kids represent different make-believe countries in conflict with one another.  And he asks the kids to find a resolution.  And he has no idea what the answer is.

NPR article herewebsite herePretty awesome.     

Sunday, July 28, 2013

We Hold These Truths To Be Sacred and Undeniable

That all men are created equal...

I like Jefferson's original draft way better!  Before Ben Franklin crossed it out and substituted "self-evident."

Friday, July 26, 2013

Or Maybe This Is the Ugliest Animal In the World?

The Aye-aye!

Or Is This The Ugliest Animal In the World?

Naked Mole Rat!

Ugliest Animal in the World?

The Blobfish!

Mad Libs With Carlos Danger and Sydney Leathers

Who wants to play Mad Libs with Weiner and his girlfriend?  Using their text messages, let's see if we can make a funny story. 

For the first text, I need two verbs and two nouns! 

A Suggestion For The Republican House

Pass an Omnibus Naturalization Bill.  It has two components:

1)  A similar version to the Senate bill on immigration reform


2) It defines any baby who crosses the cervix as a citizen of the United States.

This would have the effect of defining D&X and D&E abortions (two abortions that require the doctor to pull the baby through the cervix) as murder.  A partially-born infant would be a citizen of the United States, and thus entitled to the equal protection of the laws.

Republicans should also insist that the two provisions cannot be severed by the judiciary.

In conference the Senate Democrats (and Obama) would have to scale back on abortion rights if they want immigration reform.

Or the Democrats could scuttle the bill.  And Republicans can demonize them as anti-Hispanic and anti-Catholic.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Texas Abortion Statute Follows the Viability Doctrine

The media has been quite hysterical over the new abortion statute in Texas.  ABC News puts it this way:

Texas just passed one of the strictest abortion laws in the country.

The state's Senate adopted a bill close to midnight on Friday that bans abortions after 20 weeks and will force the closure of all but a handful of the clinics that perform them.

What the media has failed to report is that "one of the strictest abortions laws in the country" actually complies with Roe v. Wade.

Let's examine the argument that Texas "bans abortion after 20 weeks."  It's true, but a little misleading.  The Texas statute is counting weeks from conception.  Yet most doctors actually measure weeks of pregnancy from the last menstrual period.  See, for instance, this report from NPR.

"(W)hen we talk about a law that bans abortion at 20 weeks post-fertilization, we're really talking about a law that bans abortion at 22 weeks of pregnancy..." 

So when Texas outlaws abortions at 20 weeks (from conception) a doctor would say that Texas is outlawing abortions at 22 weeks (from LMP).  It's two different ways of measuring the exact same point in time.

Why is this important?  Because the record for a premature baby's survival is 22 weeks after LMP.  

In other words, the Texas statute is following Roe and Casey.  Texas is actually enforcing the viability doctrine!

Yet nobody in our media is applauding Texas for respecting Roe v. Wade.  Instead we are told how "extreme" it is for Texas to protect babies at 22 weeks after LMP, or when viability begins.

Of course, for political reasons, Rick Perry and other pro-lifers do not mention they are actually following the viability doctrine of Roe v. Wade.  And yet the 22-week point is clearly within the boundaries established by the Supreme Court.  So while it might be embarrassing politically for these pro-lifers to acknowledge they are following Roe and Casey, they have clearly crafted a statute that comports with existing case law. 

It seems to me the odds that this statute will be upheld by the judiciary is incredibly high.  

Saint-Lazare Train Station

Pope Abandons Popemobile

Somebody put a "No Fear" sticker on that man

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Underwater Dog #4


The Pope's in Brazil

A wrong turn sent a humble Fiat carrying Pope Francis into the thick of a frenzied Rio crowd Monday, in his first minutes back in South America since becoming pontiff. It was a nightmare for security officials, but for the clearly delighted pope just another opportunity to connect.

Ecstatic throngs forced his motorcade to repeatedly come to a standstill, weeks after violent protests against the government paralyzed parts of Brazil. Francis' driver had turned into the wrong side of a boulevard at one point, missing lanes that had been cleared. Other parts of the pope's route to the city center weren't lined with fencing, giving the throngs more chances to get close, with uniformed police nowhere in sight to act as crowd control.

I hate, hate, hate the use of bullet-proof glass to protect the pope.  That sort of fear is entirely inappropriate.  Christians have no fear of death, it is a very basic tenet in our theology. 

Walk with God and have no fear!

Sharia vs. Women

A Norwegian woman alleges that she is raped in Dubai, and she and her attacker are both sentenced to 16 months in prison.

You can't make this up!  

And we only hear about it after the Dubai ruler pardons the two of them?    

Twitter to her rescue(A New York Times blogger covers the story, but note that the Times itself neglects to mention the story to its readers).   

The Old Man and the Sea

comes to life

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? 
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Is Nancy Pelosi Miss Lube Rack of 1959?

No.  But it's still funny.

The IRS Break-In

Dick Morris and Eileen McGann just published a great article over at The Hill.  Their argument is that William Wilkins is the "G. Gordon Liddy of the IRS scandal."  And of course by that they mean he's the guy running the operation at IRS. 

But I am having trouble seeing William Wilkins as G. Gordon Liddy!

Burns His Hand On Purpose

Press the Button!

Readers of the Guardian can avoid all news of the new royal baby by pressing a buttonThis fantastic application blocks all news of the royal family and gives the reader a whole different newspaper.

William and Kate's baby is finally on its way, but if you're sick of hearing about what it'll be called, where it'll live and how privileged it'll be, then the Guardian's website has the answer: a royal baby blocker. The popular British newspaper clearly anticipated a great deal of royal baby fatigue, because on the U.K. version of the site there's a way to toggle between "Royalist" and "Republican" modes. Click the latter and all royal baby mentions are removed from your view of the site. In England, "Republican" means supporting a republic without a monarchy.

I am ready for my Nobama button!  Imagine the news with all mentions of Obama removed.  Peace and prosperity!  At least in my house.   

The Royal Fetus

is on the wayWeird how the media keeps saying "baby"!

Satan Would Like To Distance Himself From The Tampon Earrings

The UK Church of Satan tweets...

Unfortunate to see Satan's name used in such a diabolical manner. Another example of what 'Satanism' doesn't represent.

Satan has no comment on these shoes.

Tampon Earrings

So on MSNBC a host is wearing tampon earrings as a protest against the seizure of tampons, which were temporarily banned in the legislature rotunda in Texas on the grounds that pro-choicers might start throwing them.

Not sure if tampons have anything to do with SatanActually I can think up two or three jokes using tampons and Satan. 

Here is a bra that is on fire.  

Not sure how that fits into it.  I'm actually a little confused.  But it's still funny.

What Happened To Our Culture?

Song lyrics, 1964

I don't need no money, fortune or fame
I got all the riches baby, one man can claim
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl
My girl

Song lyrics, 2009

I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Micheal with ya money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Trayvon Martin and "Purple Drank"

Purple drank or "lean" is a name for codeine mixed with a soft drink and candy.  It is a cough suppressant in small doses, but in larger doses it is quite similar to PCP(!)

It's theorized that Trayvon Martin was a user, based on facebook posts about the drug.  See also this.   

Trayvon:  "unow a connect for codine?"

Mackenzie:  "Why nigga?"

Trayvon:  "To make some more."


Trayvon:  "Codeine is a higher dose of dxm."


Trayvon:  "You can get the same vibe off lean."

Nice in depth discussion here

It is quite possible that Trayvon Martin – experiencing the tolerance effects caused by chronic use of DXM - potentially took a larger dose of DXM than he’d had before,  or at the very least was recently indulging himself in an admitted actitity.   Maybe even suffered a “psychotic break”, but at least the behavioral paranoia and psychological stress consistent with the use of long-term DXM use might have to a physical and psychological reaction to questions by George Zimmerman, and ultimately to his aggressive response.

This Speech Is Illegal!

Eugene Volokh has an awesome site where he discusses what I think is the biggest threat to free speech in our country--sex harassment law.  The newest move by the federal government is to mandate speech controls in all universities.

Among the forms of expression now punishable on America's campuses by order of the federal government are:

• Any expression related to sexual topics that offends any person. This leaves a wide range of expressive activity—a campus performance of "The Vagina Monologues," a presentation on safe sex practices, a debate about sexual morality, a discussion of gay marriage, or a classroom lecture on Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita—subject to discipline.

• Any sexually themed joke overheard by any person who finds that joke offensive for any reason.

• Any request for dates or any flirtation that is not welcomed by the recipient of such a request or flirtation.  

NPR Editorial -- Updated With The Sneetches

Obama Explains Star-On-Thars America to No-Stars-On-Thars America 

"The days are few and far between when President Obama has intentionally reminded us that he is the first Stars-On-Thars president.  Friday was one.

The president did something no other holder of his office has ever had the life experience to do: He used the bully pulpit to, as a Stars-On-Thars-American, explain Stars-On-Thars America to No-Stars-On-Thars America in the wake of last week's acquittal of George Zimmerman in the shooting death of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin.

Appearing unannounced before surprised reporters who were expecting the White House press secretary, it was Obama — "the bridge" as New Yorker editor David Remnick has called him — trying to span a divide. It was Obama trying to help No-Stars-On-Thars Americans comprehend Stars-On-Thars America's reaction to the Martin-Zimmerman tragedy.

To a degree, it was reminiscent of the widely hailed Philadelphia speech Obama made during the 2008 presidential campaign to explain American star realities during the controversy over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

For that moment, Obama's bridge went two ways as he explained No-Stars-On-Thars to Stars-On-Thars and Stars-On-Thars to No-Stars-On-Thars. That speech found Obama standing between two star-bellies as the son of a Stars-On-Thars father and No-Stars-On-Thars mother and translating for each side.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Monster Truck Spills, Crashes, and Backflips


The Bankruptcy of Detroit

It's the largest municipal bankruptcy in the history of the U.S.A. 

And it will happen again and again and again

A New Dolphin Fad

In Australia a dolphin was taught how to tail walk.  After a few weeks in captivity, she was released back into the wild.

But she kept tail walking, just cause it's awesome. 

When other dolphins saw her new skills, they started doing it too.


Girl, 16, Attacks Taliban in U.N. Speech

Malala Yousafzai is amazing.  The power in her voice!  

Full text of her speech is here, but you really want to hear her speak.

Dear Friends, on the 9th of October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends too. They thought that the bullets would silence us. But they failed. And then, out of that silence came, thousands of voices. The terrorists thought that they would change our aims and stop our ambitions but nothing changed in my life except this: Weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born.  I am the same Malala.

Show Trial

A prominent Russian blogger, Alexsei Navalny, was convicted in a show trial yesterday. 

Aleksei A. Navalny, who famously branded the president’s United Russia political machine the “party of swindlers and thieves,” was apparently singled out by the Kremlin after having grown in stature from his beginnings as an anticorruption blogger and leader of street protests to a populist candidate for mayor of Moscow.

Meanwhile, in our country, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula says, "Who am I to criticize the commander-in-chief?"

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Duct Tape Surfing

A paralyzed woman wants to go surfing.  How does she do it? 

Duct tape!

Why Put Big Sis In Charge of all the Public Universities in California?

Perhaps it's to indoctrinate the students.


Underwater Dog #3

Marco Rubio

Article in Politico suggests Rubio is reeling.

Is it too early to talk about Iowa polls?  Because he's dropped to fifth place.

National Journal argues that Rubio's illegal immigration problem is a myth, since the other likely Republican candidates also believe in some kind of reform.  For instance, headlining Drudge is this article, suggesting Paul Ryan might vote for immigration reform in the House.  Yet immigration reform is not the same thing as the 1000-page Rubio monstrosity. 

Mickey Kaus has been brutal on Rubio.

Me?  I'm still hoping Sarah Palin will come in!   

Skinny Al Has a Lady

She's hot!


Skinny Al still freaks me out, though. 

Vote now!  Surgery or will power?

Jahar is so cool!

He made the cover of Rolling Stone!

What a celebrity he is!  Reminds me of this guy...

I wonder who will play him in the movie? 

I wonder if Jahar has signed with an agent yet?  It's really exciting when you think about the potential size of the Jahar market. 

Here is Che selling Mercedes...



Here is Che selling tennis shoes...

I can't wait for the Jahar bobblehead!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Making Time

The Creation

Catwoman, Catwoman, Catwoman, Catwoman, Catwoman, and Catwoman

#1 Catwoman - Julie Newmar

#2 Catwoman - Eartha Kitt

#3 Catwoman - Lee Meriwether

#4 Catwoman - Anne Hathaway

#5 Catwoman - Halle Berry

#6 Catwoman - Michelle Pfeiffer


New Surgical Trends in Japan

So you go to a palm reader, and she reads your palm.  And you don't like what she says.  You're unhappy with your future.  So what do you do?

Ask for a refund?

Go to a different palm reader?

Or pay a plastic surgeon to put new lines on your hand?

I really like Japan, but it's kind of an insane culture

Do Liberals Care If Millions of Africans Die?

I ask this because a million Africans die every year from malaria.  And we certainly know how to wipe out malaria.  A marvelous pesticide known as DDT kills the mosquito that is responsible for that disease.  Yet this stupid book, and the environmental movement it spawned, is responsible for the demonization of DDT.  

DDT is a wonder drug that wiped out malaria in most of the world.  But the environmental movement hates science and hates pesticidesAnd so they got DDT banned, despite an amazing health record, and no evidence of any danger to anybody.

Meanwhile, malaria is still killing people, 90% of whom are in Africa.  Since 1972, more than 50 million people have died of malaria.  We could stop it, cheaply and easily.  And yet we do nothing.
These people are shits.

If malaria was killing a million Americans a year, or a million Europeans a year, you know damn well we would spray DDT to get rid of it.  But apparently African life is not worth it.
Here is the World Health Organization begging the left to start using DDT to save lives.
And they refuse. 

Vacation Horror Stories

An English woman goes to Brazil for a vacation.  She goes for a hike.  After the hike, she starts hearing a scratching sound in her ear. 

So she goes to the ear, nose and throat doctor.  And the doctor finds flesh-eating maggots in her ear canal.

Stoking the Racial Fires

Here's a timeline of Barack Obama's response to the Trayvon Martin shooting.

February 26, Trayvon Martin was shot. 

March 2, President Obama calls Sandra Fluke to make her feel better.

Why is Sandra Fluke in the Barack Obama-Trayvon Martin controversy?  Because it reminds us how shallow, superficial, and stupid the American media can be.  And it reminds us that 2012 is an election year.  And it reminds us how partisan Barack Obama is, and how he loves to use the media.  Birth control!  Get women worked up!  Birth control, birth control!

March 14th, the Sandra Fluke controversy is still ragingYes, our media is quite stupid.  We cannot mock our media enough!

March 21st, the Washington Post asks, "Who Is George Zimmerman?"  They are asking this question because nobody knows.  We've never heard of George Zimmerman, or Trayvon Martin.  So why are we hearing about them now?  Why is this a national news story?

Federal agencies have now taken over the case.

It's a national story because the Obama Administration and the Justice Department wanted it to be a national story.  They wanted to drum up racial upset, as they wanted to drum up gender upset, because this is an election year.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Aliyah Shell Is Dead

You probably don't know who Aliyah Shell is.  She's a 6-year-old girl who was murdered in a drive-by.

I doubt you have heard of Jonylah Watkins.  Just a baby, she was shot and killed in Chicago, apparently in a fight over a stolen video game.
Innocent children are murdered every day.  And yet we rarely hear about these cases.  Why not?  Because there's no race angle for our media to obsess over.   

Who Am I?


Lozenge Composition With Eight Lines and Red

"I have never encountered a more irresponsible prosecutor"

Alan Dershowitz on Angela Corey...

On the Town (1949)

Four years after World War II, all the men are back and ready to get it on.  What we call the baby boom! 
I love pre-feminist movies about human sexuality.  On the Town is a movie about three sailors who are in New York, trying to meet girls.  And they are singing and dancing.  It is a happy, fun, amazing movie.  I am so living in the wrong era.  This is healthy sexuality.  This movie can't exist in our era, because in our era aggression is bad.
On the Town is a movie about sex, getting it on with your sexual opposite, like a caveman.  Woo-hoo!  Being open to love and feeling it.  It's a passionate movie, an aggressive movie, a romantic movie.  It's a movie for young men feeling their oats.  This film is pre-feminist and unapologetically shows sexual pursuit as a good thing.  Man's aggressive chase after woman is seen as happy and fun and normal.  If you're not chasing after a woman, she's gonna chase after you.
Once feminism hit, with its war on masculinity and its policing of sexuality, art followed orders or rebelled.  Our musicals became gay or girly.  Screwball comedies became talky chick flicks.  And there was a massive, unspoken revolt by men from music and dance in film.  What do we watch?  Violent movies.  Taxi Driver or Kill Bill.  Unhealthy, aggressive, homicidally violent movies.  The attempt to neuter men has made our art more violent.  On the Town is from a happier time. 
On the Town is a musical, but it's not a chick flick.  It's aggressive and fun.  And why not?  Dancers are amazing athletes.  Capturing Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire on film is a miracle, like seeing Jackie Chan in his prime, or Buster Keaton.  You have to train for years and years to get your body to be so good at something.  So don't put lame ass John Travolta or Burt Reynolds or Dolly Parton or Olivia Newton-John out there and pretend like you've made some amazing musical.  Just cause you're dancing doesn't mean you rock.
What's awesome about this movie is the innocence of it, how nice its assumptions are.  Now, 1949 was a pretty cynical year.  You know it had to be, four years after the atom bomb and the Holocaust.  Sometimes you throw art out there to show what life can be.  What it should be.  And On the Town is like that.  Fun and happy and cool.  My vote for the happiest movie ever made.